ARS SIDE STORY (The musical) [Story and lyrics by Zorrosblade, all rights reserved]

Presented by Tooomojian productions; (corporate offices in outer Mongolia)

An adaptation of the musical: "West Side Story" Book by Arthur Laurents; based on a concept by Jerome Robbins Music by Leonard Bernstein

Starring: Zinjifar; as Riff Armstrong; as Bernardo Caroline; as Maria Z-blade; as Tony ptsc; as offstage theater manager

(And assorted cast members from ARS)

Act 1

Prologue; The neighborhood -

The Sharks are Armstrong immigrants who look to hold their position as top dog ARS street fighters. The Jets are an anthology of what is colloquially called zinjifarianism in the strictest sense of ruthlessly bright, creative, unpredictable, abstract, as a war between left and right brain functions, where the Jets look to hold onto their territory and clean out the Sharks in a rumble.

Riff: "Cut it action boy! I and Tony started the ARS Jets!"

Vinny: "Who wouldn't want to belong to the ARS Jets"

Riff: "Right! He's always come through for us and he will now"

Riff and Vinny sing 'the Jet song' while snapping their fingers: (Jazz beat) When you're an ARS Jet.. You're a Jet all the way From your first cigarette To your last dying day.. When your an ARS Jet If the shit hits the fan You got brothers around, You're a family man!!!

You're never alone, You're never disconnected.. Your home with your own, When company's expected, You're well protected!!

Then you are set with a capital J Which you'll never forget till they cart you away When you're an ARS JET! You.. stay.. a... JET!!!!!" (Orchestra crescendo)

Dialogue: Riff: "I know Tony like I know me. I guarantee you can count him in.

Vinny: "In, out, lets get crackin"

Rocko: "Where are you gonna find Armstrong?"

Riff: "At the dance tonight at the ARS gym"

Vinny: "But the gym is neutral territory"

Riff: (innocently) "I'm gonna make nice there! I'm only gonna challenge him."

Gary the street urchin: "Great Daddy-O!"

Riff: "So everybody dress up sweet and sharp and meet Tony and me at ten and walk tall!!

Vinny: "We always walk tall!!"

Rocko: " We're ARS's Jets.... The greatest!!!"

Singing together in unison: (Jazz beat) When you're an ARS Jet You're the top cat in town You're the gold medal kid With the heavy weight crown

When you're an ARS Jet You're the swinginest cat, You're a man little boy, You're a man little king.

ARS Jets are in gear, Our cylinders are clickin .. (Boom Boom).. The Sharks steer clear, Cause every Armstrong lapdog's... A lousy chicken!!! (ptsc: "Yeah on that last point!!" Bobpedo!! <whistles approval from back stage>)

(cont) Here come ARS Jets Like a bat out of hell Someone gets in our way Someone don't feel so well!!

Here come ARS Jets Little world step aside! Better go underground, Better run better hide!

We're drawing the line, So keep your noses hidden! We're hangin' a sign, Say's "visitors forbidden" And we ain't kiddin!!!

Here come ARS Jets Yeah! And we're gonna beat Ev'ry last buggin' gang On the whole buggin street . On the whole! Ever! Mother! Lovin! STREEEEET!!!!" (Crescendo)

YEAH!! [end]

Scene 2: "Cool"

The Drugstore - Midnight (The Jets await the arrival of the Sharks for the "War Council". The atmosphere is tense, jumpy.)

Riff sings the tune "ARS Cool": (in a cool be-bop beat)

Boy, boy, ARS boy, Get cooool, boy!

Got a rocket.. In your pocket, Keep coolly cool, boy!

Don't get hot, Cause, man, you got some high times ahead....

Take it slow... and Daddy-O, You can live it up and die in bed!

Boy, boy, ARS boy, Stay looooose boy!!!

Breeze it, buzz it, easy does it,, Turn off the juice boy!!!

Go man go,, But not like a yo-yo Schoolboy. Just play it cool ARS boy,,, Reeeal cool! (snapping fingers)

Scene 3: Riff and Bernardo sing at the 'War Council':

Riff: The ARS Jets are gonna have their day Tonight!!!!!!

Bernardo: The Armstrong Sharks are gonna have their way Tonight!!!!

Riff: The Gerry Ricans grumble: "Fair fight." But if they start a rumble, We'll rumble 'em rightttt....

Bernardo: We're gonna hand 'em a surprise Tonight!!!!

Riff and Jets: We're gonna cut 'em down to size Tonight!!!!!

Bernardo and Sharks: We said, "O.K., no rumpus, No tricks." But just in case they jump us, We're ready to mix

Tonight!!!

We're gonna rock it tonight, We're gonna jazz it up and have us a ball! They're gonna get it tonight; The more they turn it on the harder they'll fall!

Riff and Jets: Well, they began it!

Bernardo and Sharks: Well, they began it!

ALL: And we're the ones to stop 'em Once and for all,

Tonight!!!! [end]

Scene 4: Maria singing the number; "tonight" (played by Caroline)

(lush romantic music with violins singing)

Tonight---Tonight!!! Won't be just annnny night Tonight there will be No morning star!!!

(The violins wax romanticism)

Tonight....Tonight... I'll see my Bernardo tonight And for us.. Stars will stop... Where they are!!!!!

Today,, The minutes seems like hours, The hours on ARS go so slowly,, And still the sky is light!!

Oh moon, grow bright, And make this endless day- Endless NIGHT!!!! Tonight!!!!" (Orchestra crescendo) [end]

Act 2: The Rumble Under The Highway - 2:00 am. (The gangs enter from opposite sides)

Blades are drawn and Tony (Z-blade) tries to stop the rumble but Riff goes after Bernardo in a rush. As Riff is about to kill Bernardo, Tony moves in to stop it but Bernardo takes the initiative with a left cross to Riff's face but Tony pulls a rod and tells everyone to stop. The gangs disperse in panic when they see the pistol where Tony stands alone in the silent dead of night after the dust from the freeway underpass settles.

Back at the Tenement: Maria (Caroline) and Bernardo (Armstrong) sing to the stars after such a harrowing ordeal wishing for world peace while embracing in each other's arms. The Jets and Sharks look on from the background.

Maria and Bernardo sing; "Somewhere"

(ever so slowly) There's a place for us.. A time... and place for us..... Peace and quiet Without the scientology nightmare Time together And time to spare. Time to look.... Time to CARE!!

Somehow!!!! (orchestra crescendo) Someday!!! (") We'll find a new way of living!!...

We'll find a new way of giving!!.....

Somewhere....<as a hush>

There's a place for us.. A time...and place for us... Hold my hand and we're half way there... Hold my hand and I'll take you there.... Somehow!!!! (Crescendo) Somewhere!! (") Someday!!!! (not a dry eye in the house)

** The Jets along with the Sharks sing with Maria and Bernardo for the grand finale:

(ever so slowly and quietly) There's a... place for us.. A time... and place.. for us.... Peace and quiet without OSA's nightmare.....

Work together... It'll happen if we care

Somehow!!!!....(crescendo) Someday!!!....(") SOMEWHERE!!!! (not a dry eye in the house)

[end]

The street lights dim...the stage grows dark The orchestra fades to its final chord's resolution, with a lone trumpet tieing it all together as alpha and omega.

The theaters maroon velvet curtain drops ever so slowly--

The metropolitan audience comes to its feet.

"ARS Side Story"

Z-blade

Go Back